Democratic Senator and Presidential Candidate Joe Biden today announced a new initiative to defend the rights of Clueless-Americans. Details on the flip.
Many Americans, through no fault of their own, suffer from terminal cluelessness. These Americans, while decent men and women, will speak with pride of coming from a slave state, remark how unusual it is to have a clean African-American, or balance a politically asute suggestion that South Carolina stop flying the Confederate flag by saying their state would have fought for the South if it had been able to figure how to get there.
These fine Americans suffer from widespread public ridicule. Most seriously, the ridicule often restricts them from running for higher public office. That's why I'm proposing the Clueless-American Antidefamation and Political Participation Act of 2007. Disparaging comments against clueless Americans in a public forum will be a misdemeanor punishable by up to 7 days forced watching of the Jerry Springer show. If the comments are directed against candidates for national political office, it will be a felony punishable by requiring the offender be on the Jerry Springer show. In many states those offenders will be unable to vote, which is somewhat sad but should help the chances of Clueless-Americans running for national office, which anybody who knows me will agree is a good idea.
This act will help bring equality to all Americans and maximize the chance that the next President of the United States will not have a clue.
Biden denies that this move has anything to do with his decision to run for the Presidency.
I'm shocked at the suggestion that I'm pandering to Clueless-Americans. I already have overwhelming support. This just shows that I can take difficult political stands as well as a certain surprisingly clean African-American.